Lighting the Fire of Love

A few weeks ago a 17 year old girl jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco in an attempt to take her own life. The papers stated that she had written a suicide letter in her diary and had given it to her sister before she jumped. The girl miraculously survived the jump. A good Samaritan in a boat stayed with her until the Coast Guard came. A few days ago, Allison Bayliss left for school, took a detour and boarded BART. Her father, David Bayliss has relentlessly searched for his daughter only finding her purple bike locked to a cage near the base of the Golden Gate Bridge. Allison left a suicide letter to family and friends.

The stories of these girls made me think hard about why someone would jump off a bridge 220 feet high to their death. I began to realize that there is such disconnectedness in a world where people are so “connected.” People are on their cell phones or texting, surfing the internet or plugged into their iPod that they ignore what is around them. They literally live in a cyber world in their head and human contact is now the virtual world.

I live in Berkeley and because of the proximity to things and the great public transportation. I ride my bike, walk or take BART almost everywhere I need to go. I interact and I am around a lot of people, especially college kids since the city is the home of UC Berkeley. I took the bus one day to the BART station and then BART to San Francisco for a meeting.  I noticed when riding the bus that the disconnectedness of our supposed connectedness via phone, internet text etc. has only disconnected people more. I see less human interaction between  people sitting right next to each other. It was as if the people around them had a disease. Granted, there are many homeless people in and around Berkeley but I am talking about college kid to college kid. I watched people get on and off the bus and if they had to sit next to someone, they rarely acknowledged them.

BART is another story in and of itself. BART takes people from all over the East Bay into San Francisco and further. The flavor of people is colorful and interesting as is Berkeley but still the interaction is non-existent. Riding BART shows you the real people and real life. This train carries the energy of pain racked lives of people who work hard, immigrated into this country with the hope of a better life. The young and old, the destitute and poor and the educated and wealthy ride BART. It services all human beings and judges none. Interwoven into this mix is a diverse culture of people and there is a silent communication amongst people. I have witnessed young people give up their seats for the elderly and women and children, people are cordial and caring in that way. BART sets things on an even keel in a sense. If you are riding BART you are riding in the real world. There is a silent respect among people because if you think that you are any better than anyone else; you will think again. There is danger lurking in the BART just as it lurks everywhere. You are not safe anywhere you go but people perceive that they are if they stay away from these places. I choose to embrace and take advantage of BART because I like the energy of the people and I don’t like paying $4.50 a gallon for gas. It’s my way of helping the Earth in her quest for balance.

Why then would a 15 or 16 year old girl attempt to jump to her death? I think that she may have felt vacant, alone, and empty but that is just a guess. I don’t know her reasons but what I do know is that people are so wrapped into their own world that they do not see what is around them. Often times me miss the obvious despair, pain, anger and regret an individual is experiencing. I asked myself what this world would look like if we each remembered that we co-exist with other human beings and are intimately interconnected. We forget that we rely on each other. We forget our power as people to come together in compassion, love and hope. We forget that it is the human spirit that changes things not Congress. Within us is everything and we have forgotten that living a good life is more important than a life of greed and disdain for others.

A young boy who experienced friends committing suicide and wanted to commit suicide himself took these feelings of desperation and created a site on facebook that give hope. Its called, We All Matter. He was able to transform his experiences that he witnessed, felt and attempted. In finding hope and purpose, in turn gives hope. He has used his life to offer warmth of spirit. The human interconnectedness is what cyberspace is missing.  This new and helpful wireless world is creating part of the disconnectedness amongst people. Am I blaming the phenomena of going wireless? Absolutely not. I am suggesting we become more aware of what is around us and use it to help others. If someone noticed that this girl that attempted her own life and needed support, why not text her best friend? Or call her? Or email a sweet message? Would it have mattered? I know that there are days when a stupid forwarded email that offers the St Therese prayer has given me exactly what I needed; a remembrance to be hopeful, to offer prayers and to be strong and have faith.  Smiling and the connection that we obtain through the eyes are not the energy exchanges of old, they are the warmth of life. I smile, they smile, and their spirit comes alive. It’s the light bulb of energy within the human being. Don’t let cyberspace replace that human spirit of love. Love from the heart can NEVER be replicated. Remember to love and put down the phone for a moment to connect. It is the spirit of charity; giving of yourself. There is nothing more satisfying than that.

I wonder if the girl that jumped needed a simple smile? I wonder if she needed some warmth and acknowledgement that she matters. I wonder why she felt so worthless and desperate to make her jump to her almost death....I wonder if I have ever passed her on the streets and did not offer her a smile, warm gesture or a glimmer of eye contact that said, “Yes, you are beautiful.” I wondered what my small, tiny part in this very large whole was and I realized that the most important thing is generosity of spirit. It is charity at its best. It is respectful and generous and it takes such little effort. When we treat others as we wish to be treated we recognize what is happening to others. We become aware that the simple things like a kind word, a smile, touch of the spirit or touching the heart can make the difference between jumping 220 feet or not jumping because that someone just saw a glimmer of hope. Warmth in your heart is the way to love. A simple short prayer or thought that is heartfelt travels miles to the heart of the other. It will get there no matter what and is more powerful than we ever realize. This is called Lighting the Fire of Love. Offer hope, kindness and respect for others and watch your world change. Offer your love and your tenderness to others and in turn your life will be filled with love and tenderness. Where there is hate, put forth love, where there is ugliness, offer beauty, where there is conflict offer peace and where there is desperation offer hope. It may save someone’s life.