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BART UPDATE: Oakland Coliseum Station Re-Opens…

Weekly Update with Alyssa Jaffer

Cal student and satirist Alyssa Jaffer gives you Berkeley's version of SNL's Weekend Update.

Two weeks ago, fans camped out the Shattuck Theater at midnight to find out who would win . The top contenders? Berkeley’s homeless.

Construction for the is underway. Homer, Bart and all your favorites will be competing when it opens this fall.

Anresulted in a knife injury. Authorities report the perp feared losing out on the last on-sale item.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

asdf April 07, 2012 at 12:36 AM
Maybe you should let the joke telling to remain on nightly monologues and SNL....you're not very good at writing them....
rj April 07, 2012 at 06:17 AM
these jokes made me giggle!
rj April 07, 2012 at 06:18 AM
hey guy, why don't you show us how it's done? oh wait, you can't... you don't write for patch. and thank god, with that grammar, you need to go back to the 3rd grade.
Tanya Jo Miller April 07, 2012 at 07:13 PM
Howdy folks, Let's be sure to keep all comments civil and not personal! Thanks!
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